Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Your Friendly Neighborhood Kidnappers


We open our episode with the Four Swine somehow managing to create this huge sound while only playing acoustic guitars. Talented boys!

There must also be a talented audience because the ten people there manage to make it sound like the bands are playing for a crowded room. 


Who the hell closes the door when they first open the scene? I was cracking up watching that! Trump starts talking and immediately the front door slams shut. 

You can tell that the boys are really down on their luck because Mike is using a giant lead pipe as a pogo stick. Even better is that you can hear his feet jumping on the ground. 

I'm sorry, but who the hell tied Trump's tie???

Ever notice how every contract the boys sign is the exact same blue and white paper? It is the little things like this that drive me nuts. I am guessing the prop room they had to work with was the size of a closet. 

To get the boys some publicity, it is decided that they should get their clothes ripped off by a bunch of girls. Girls and clothes coming off? Sounds like a slice out of Peter Tork's life!

Another ploy Trump offers up to get the boys famous is to have them place their hands in cement in front of the Chinese theater. Only, it isn't THE Chinese theater as in Grauman's. And if you look on the marquee on the outside of theater you can read the word "Dork." No clue why. 

I always wondered too, how did Trump not break the boys' fingers when he brought the sledgehammer down on the cement? 

What else could make the boys famous?? Let's have them be kidnapped! Peter asks what kind of kidnapping...because there are so many different kinds apparently.

And I love how cheap these fellas are willing to go to commit a crime. They won't do it for less than $1000........except for maybe $360. 

The time comes for the boys to put on their best outfits and get the kidnapping started! I hate to say it but Mike and Peter end up looking like waiters with their short jackets. Mike gets bonus points for the belt buckle though.

"If it's one thing I can't stand its late kidnappers!"

And where is Davy when all of this action is going down? "Out with a girlfriend." What a slut. But his said girlfriend at the time is our favorite gal, Val Kairys. We LOVE her!

Also, explain to me why Davy and everyone else were at a 'nightclub' in the middle of the day? 


I swear, the continuity person on set should have been shot. The people at the party are inside one minute, and then waiting to get into the party the next. They are walking down the stairs and then in the next shot they are half way across the room. 

During this little romp we see the unfortunate sight which is Peter dancing. Now, in my opinion, Micky is the best dancer out of the guys. Davy tends to dance very much like a stereotypical white guy, fingers snapping, doesn't really do much. Peter tends to have full blown seizure while dancing. Micky gets the groove though, baby!

David Price on the other hand is getting DOWN! Go girl!

I love how the party really starts to pick up when a group of people come in with pretzels. YES!!! This is a kick ass party now!!!

Also, I am assuming by how quickly the chairs and tables from the restaurant are brought over that the restaurant is right next door. How convenient! 

So, eventually Trump has to come over and get everything straightened out. The boys are kept locked in a room until the contest is over so that they have no chance of winning. One of my favorite moments is when Micky gets an idea, but he can't think with the light bulb over his head. I love it.

How do they get out of the room?! Easy! They will just throw Peter out of the window, of course! But, Peter is too limp...he's gotta be stiff! *insert joke here*


The Monkees truly are magical in that they can escape their pad being chased by criminals and end up in an entirely different setting in entirely different clothes. MAGIC!!

I honestly think whoever was in charge of putting the romps together just sat in a room and said, "Yeah, lets just throw a bunch of random shit together and call it a day." 

I must say that I do enjoy seeing the backlots of the studios. A+ for that one.

Also, Davy is just shaking the shit out of those maracas! Get it Manchester Cowboy!

Once again, we see the magic of The Monkees when we go to the contest hall and the guys are making some loud rock music without even plugging in their instruments. Bravah!

The emcee of the contest says they found evidence of foul play but that the perpetrators had been apprehended. Umm, I'm sorry, but who was murdered? They must have cut that out of the show. 

We end the show with the Monkees stripping, which in my opinion is how every one of their episodes should have ended.


Bob proceeds to bug the boys but they just want to go home!

In my opinion, Mike does the best at interviews. He is funny but he also gets very serious and gives great and concise answers. I dig it.

Peter on the other hand is WAY too ADD to have a conversation right then and there, and perhaps the cause of his agitation is his WAYYYY too short pants. Good Lord!


I personally love when Peter yells "Yay!" when he is washing his socks in the cocktail shaker. I don't know why, I just do. 

They all look adorable when they have their hands in cement and are smiling up at the camera. And Mike with his sleeves rolled up, yes please!!

Mike is so cute when he and Micky are playing telephone. Love it.

When the boys are trying to figure out how they can get out of the locked room, Mike is leaning against the wall. Once again, yes please!

And what else can I say about the Monkees stripping except for HOLY MOTHER OF GOD LOOK AT PETER'S ARMS!! *faints*

And during the interview at the end of the show, I have to say that Peter's blue shirt is one of my favorite things that he wears in the series. J'adore.


The screen caps for this entry are from this amazing Monkees website that you need to check out for Monkees info, pictures, and tons of other fun! She's a star collector, a collector of stars.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Monkee vs. Machine


Once again, we start our tale at 1334 N. Beechwood Drive. And Mike playing the harmonica. Who doesn't love this? Why aren't there more videos of him playing harmonica? I for one want to see them so I can sit, gaping at the screen.

I love how when Mike lifts the table top lid up and Peter looks at the camera and rolls his eyes. Over it much? At least he does a good job at hiding it. Oh wait...

The rent is late! Again! I think the boys would have more money to use towards rent if they stopped getting three newspapers delivered. Seriously, Davy has a copy. Mike has a copy, and Micky has a copy. Learn to share, boys!

Peter dress up time! I give the boys credit because I don't think I would be able to put clothes back ON him. But Mike putting his tie on is kinda hot, even though he just ties it tightly to his throat. 

So, we are led to believe that Peter just walked in, asked for the job, and was immediately given an interview. I don't know about you, but in my experience you fill out the application, wait 3.5 years to hear back from them, schedule an interview, and then wait another 3.5 to hear whether or not you are hired. But hey, Peter is cute, so I bet that helped him. 

Peter seriously gives the secretary a stare down. Creepy guy style.


The scene between Peter and the machine is awesome.
"Peter. Ya dig? Pete."
"Operation, Pete Digger."
"Listen, I'm a man!"
"In your spare time you are a man."

Awww, poor Peter comes back to the pad, dejected and feeling low after being OWNED by that machine. Mike tries to comfort him by telling him, "You have something the machine doesn't have. You have friends." If that was the advice a friend gave me when I was upset, I would seriously consider hitting them with a shovel.

Something I have never understood is what Peter says to Mike while explaining what happened during his interview. It sounds like he says either, "Oh wow!" or "Oh, well..." Either way, it sounds weird. 

Mike's interview is a complete 360 from Peter's. It is the Monkee's turn to own the machine. 
"Sex?" (Peter's laugh at this point during the commentary is just awesome).
"I bet you're a real swinger when you're turned on." Oh, Mike...

So, Daggart takes Mike on a tour of the factory and leads him into a room filled with what look like machines that do pointless tasks. Yes, "modern toy making." Kids just love playing with fax machines.

Here comes Pop Harper, the man we must feel sorry for and want the Monkees to rescue. But, God bless you, Harper, what the hell did you 'invent'? Wow. Something you can bend and then straighten back up again. I could do the same thing with a wire hanger and not be out any money. The boomerang was invented roughly 30,000 years according to Wikipedia, which is about the same time Pop Harper was born, so perhaps he was feeling nostalgic for the toys of his youth. I don't blame Daggart for wanting to get rid of him, sorry!

Okay, so lets get on the same page here. Mike JUST got hired. The rent is already late. They have to pay it or get out. Mike won't get a nice paychecks for a couple of weeks does this all work with out with the guys still having a place to live? I wish real life was like tv sometimes. Life would be a lot easier and filled with musical romps.

Peter pipes in and tells Mike to cheer up because at least he will get to play with kids on the job. My first thought was, no Peter, as it usually is. Unless we are back in the early 1900s when child labor was rampant, I don't think you will see many kids running around a factory, even if said factory is making toys. For product research purposes, sure you will interact with kids, but since we don't really know what Mike's job title is...


This is a pieced together romp made up of the boys playing with kids on the beach, riding unicycles, playing their instruments, and riding in the Monkee mobile. Speaking of the Monkee mobile, it was parked outside the venue in Michigan where Michael Nesmith was playing a show and while sitting inside with my friend getting our picture taken, I went to honk the horn and it popped off. Oops!

The Monkees are nothing if not masters of disguise. But, it has to be noted that Peter makes one ugly woman, which is something positive I think because according to his commentary, he hated dressing up in drag. 

It is time to test the toys! I was a little perplexed as to why they have 14 year old boys come in to play with toys, but hey, gotta cover all the bases right? I bet Daggart regretted bringing the big boys in when he took away Davy's yo-yo and one of the older boys beats the shit out of him. Seriously, that kid goes to town on Daggart! Kids these days! Or, THOSE days. 

When Peter comes in as a young boy to test toys, he is part of the group told to make a bridge. Just what every kid wants. Screw the new bike, Mom! Get me two pieces of plastic to jam together so I can have a bridge and have hours of fun driving little matchbox cars over it!

Mike tries to tell Mr. Duggins that he needs to remember to put happiness into his toys and that Pop Harper put that into the thing he created. I am not going to bring up the whole BS concept of his toy, but it is implied.

Mike's hat in this scene just looks weird. It is darker and uber pointed. It just looks weird. Am I alone thinking this? It is almost like he shoved Harper's toy in the hat to make himself look like a Danish clown.

Name the toy after the Monkees, because it always comes back. Very prophetic of you, Mike. I am waiting for 100% confirmation of a 2013 tour this summer!!


I love when the boys are dressed as construction workers and three of them lift a board above their heads but little Davy can't reach it. It is just too cute.

I am really surprised that Peter wasn't stabbed to death by pitchforks while the boys were working with hay on the farm. Three different opportunities to get impaled. He is only lucky boy!

Val Kairys spotting! She is the gal looking to be rescued from the burning building. But, apparently the boys were feeling selfish because they just go right back down the ladder and leave her! Not cool!


After Mike gets the job and we cut back to the pad, the close up of Mike in deep thought. He looks oh so cute!

I am always one for a shirtless Davy. So, a shirtless Davy wearing a cowboy hat running on the beach is just aces in my book!

Also, Mike and Peter in their construction worker jumpsuits with the open collar. Yes, please!


The screen caps for this entry are from this amazing Monkees website that you need to check out for Monkees info, pictures, and tons of other fun! I thought love was only true in fairy tales

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Monkee See, Monkee Die

This episode opens up with Mr. Babbit, the landlord, knocking out some weird ass beat on the door. Anyway, he is mad because the boys are late with the rent and he is coming to kick them out.

Davy is all confused and decides to recite a poem, "What's the matter? We paid the rent the first of September." Unfortunately, said rent was for July.

I really would love to know where exactly the boys are supposed to be leaving. I mean, I know it is 1334 N. Beechwood Dr in California, however, I have never had an apartment where outside the door is a giant plaster head smiling creepily at me. Perhaps the 60s were just a different time. And thank you for putting a stop sign on the brick wall outside too, otherwise someone might just think to plow right into it.

The lawyer comes over in record time and the boys must disguise themselves so the man they have never met won't recognize them. Mike dresses like an old man wearing a tie that I am sure was his own, Micky is the 23 hour doorman, Davy is Whistler's Mother, and Peter is the hot t.v. repairman who I would like to imagine is wearing nothing underneath his uniform. But, it is the WRONG lawyer. This is the lawyer coming to tell them that they were written into the will of a man whose wallet they once returned.


The boys arrive to the creepy castle (of course) in matching outfits. Why boys? You aren't going there to play a show, nor are you quadruplets whose mother thinks it is cute to dress everyone the same. Still, the red shirts are classic Monkees, so I love them.

I have always noticed that right when the boys are walking into the castle the film does some weird slow motion thing so Mike's movements look robotic for a few seconds. It happens really quick and I don't know why the hell I notice it, but there it is.

You ever notice how incredibly wide Peter's hips are? When the boys all line up you can really tell how ridiculous they look compared to the stick figures that are Micky and Mike. I think the belt buckle to the side could also create some weird illusion as well.

Davy has spotted a new girl, the dead guy's niece, Ellie Reynolds! SCHWING! (I used to get a kick out of this episode because my mom's name is Ellie).
"He's in love." 
"Yeah, for the very first time today."

"To the Monkees I leave the library organ with the stipulation that they play one song on it." Who the hell leaves that in their will? "I leave my estate and earthly goods to my son, John Smith, with the stipulation that he dresses like Carmen Miranda and does the Macarena." Just a random, random 'stipulation.' His other stipulation is that his niece spends one night in the mansion. This guy has way too many annoying obstacles just to get to his money.

I just love how Davy can manage to hold fifteen maracas, shake a tambourine, sing and still look as dreamy and amazing as he does. Davy Jones = one in a million.

Micky however, God bless him, while in the middle of pretending to drum adjusts his microphone. There is another shot later where the camera does a close up of him drumming when the music in the background has stopped. Brilliant!

I could just watch Mike play guitar all day, no joke. Peter however, that boy likes to get DOWN when he plays. My older sister used to make fun of him dancing around and it would piss me off royally. Now that I am older, I can laugh and enjoy Peter's bass playing enthusiasm. I also think I am not alone when I say we need to appreciate Peter's brief 'O Face' during this particular romp. Just. Amazing.

Now it is time for my favorite thing ever and yours, MONKEE PAJAMA TIME!! However, I do not know how the boys have their pajamas considering they didn't know they were going to be staying the night...hmmmm...

Also, in this HUGE castle that they are staying in, why are they all staying in one one bed?

"It looks like someones been murdered." Um, why are there like 85 knives stuck into the wall? Whoever the murderer was must of cleaned out the knife drawer in the kitchen and also had REALLY bad aim! Ooh! Maybe the knife thrower guy from the Monkees circus episode got drunk and came over!

"The wires have been cut."
"They've been tied in a bow." A perfect dummy Peter moment and I love it because he sounds so cute!

I love the little scene with Micky and Davy dressed up like Sherlock Holmes and Watson.
"Which one is Ralph?"
"...the victim." I love it!

Mike, being the smart boy that he is, decides they must get a hold of somebody outside the castle and is trying to attract various animals to help him do this. He uses bread crumbs to attract a carrier pigeon and then finds the bones of a T-Rex just hanging out in the closet and uses those to try and attract a St. Bernard. "There is a message for you on the pigeon."

Know one reason you boys may not be sleeping so well? You have your boots on. Stop that. It probably doesn't help matters that the psychic lady comes into the room all quietly and decides to tell them more news of death in the house.

I love the shot of the psychic after she says "My watch must be slow." She freezes, pointing to her watch, not looking at anyone, and then looks off camera to one of the directors. Excellent cutting skills!
Time for a seance! MONKEE HAND PORN! Also, Micky and Peter's expressions are awesome.


This is one of the many Monkee songs that is under appreciated in my opinion. I love it.

I don't think I have ever laughed as long as the three conspirators do when they talk about how they scared Ellie away. It isn't that funny guys, lay off the Kool-Aid or whatever the hell you are drinking. And why do they automatically assume that they are the new owners of the mansion? Ellie stayed the whole night in the house, so doesn't that mean it is hers? And just because she doesn't want to live there, doesn't mean she couldn't sell it. They are celebrating WAY too early.

Micky experimenting with knock out pills? Hmmm...the word roofies come to mind to anyone else?

When Peter comes in with Ellie after the knock out pills were added to the Kool-Aid/wine/whatever you hear him say "Ralph!" But then right after you hear him say "Here." But his mouth doesn't move....and the line makes no sense. I have no idea what that is all about.

"It's like the last act of 'Hamlet.'" Almost, Davy. Except that here there are no poison tipped swords or a mother sleeping with her brother-in-law, unless there is something freaky we don't know about Ralph and Madame Roselle.


Peter holding his bass in the first scene with Mr. Babbit. So dreamy.

When Mike waves to the camera in the scuba gear. So cute!!


Lea Marmer, the actress who played Madame Roselle would later play a character named Madame in the film Easy Rider. I guess Bob and Bert really liked her!

The screen caps for this entry are from this amazing Monkees website that you need to check out for tons of info, pictures, and tons of other fun! Open your eyes, get up off of your chair